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So I know the gauntlet has been thrown down by Scotty, and my book list from 2010 is forthcoming … but this couldn’t wait …

The evolution of the cooking television show. Julia Child. (Washington’s own) Frugal Gourmet, Yan Can Cook, Emeril, Rachael Ray, along with a plethora of others. In fact, the market is damn near oversaturated now, if not there already. The problem is, a lot of them are the same. These chuckers are all cooking the same shit.

Well, the gangstas over at Epic Meal Time, are cooking up something very, very different. These motherfuckers cook shit you ain’t never thought of … because these douchebags aren’t chefs, they’re just a bunch of dudes … from Canada.

Presented for your approval: Epic Meal Time.

Don’t you hate when athletes and celebrities challenge and complain about each other in the media, instead of in person? Me too.

Which reminds me, we’ve only gotten lists from Brian pertaining to music, and I’m pretty sure he enjoyed other stuff last year.

Aaaaand, we haven’t gotten anything resembling a list from Wes.

What a bunch of cool looking idiots.

I’ve always wanted to read 50 books in a year. I made the commitment that 2011 will be that year. In 2010, I read 37.

Mostly, I read fiction and literature. I try to keep reading fiction steadily throughout the year. Stories help keep me alive.

Here are the ten works of fiction I loved most last year. They aren’t books that actually came out last year, I am pretty sure I only read a single book that actually came out in 2010 (Mockingjay). These are just my favorite books that I read for the first time in 2010.

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1. The Book Thief – Markus Zusak

As I’ve written before, “It’s hard to know how to describe this book, so instead I’ll allow look to words from the story’s final page; ‘The Book Thief’ is, “so ugly and so glorious, and its words and stories are damning and brilliant.”

I wept through a good number of the final 30 pages.

Everyone should read this book.”

Narrated by Death, the story takes place in Nazi Germany. Death becomes intrigued by a little girl who keeps turning up as Death busily moves about in wartorn Germany; a little girl who steals a book the first time Death sees her. Death begins keeping tabs on the girl, and then recounts her story to us.

Zusak tells a story that is so achingly tragic, and yet filled with geniune goodness.

I believe that stories and books can save the world. I also believe that very many stories are true, and a few of them actually happened. This is one of those stories that didn’t actually happen, but is so very, very true.

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2. Never Let Me Go – Kazuo Ishiguro

I’ve already written about this one, so I’ll just link to that.

The book was on nearly every “Best of the Decade” list I’ve come across, and I can see why.

Since I’ve already said quite a bit about the book, I’ll look to some other reviewers to offer corroborative testimony.

The Guardian called the book “extraordinary,” as well as, “frighteningly clever.”

Yet, the Telegraph had the money quote that most closely mirrored my sentiments: “In its evocation of a pervasive menace and despair almost but not quite lost in translation – made up of the shadows of things not said, glimpsed out of the corner of one’s eye – the novel is masterly.”

True.

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3. Catch-22 – Joseph Heller

A great portion of the time, I feel like I must be absolutely insane. If I let myself go, I would probably revert to a state of constantly looking around at everyone else with a look of perpetual incredulity, pointing at the crazy shit that happens in this world, asking, “Am I the only one seeing this?”

All the baffling, batshit crazy, demonstrably false things people get away with saying will quite literally never cease to flabbergast me. People do and say so much that is not only false, but is quite easy to prove as false, and yet the cries of ‘bullshit’ are written off as liberal media bias, or homosexual agenda, or un-American, or elitist. Folks who tell the truth are written off as religious quacks or godless heretics.

We are all so carefully practiced at believing the particular bullshit that suits us, so we have to turn a blind eye to the bullshit that suits someone else.

Thankfully, God gave the world Joseph Heller, who reminded me that in a context that is fucking insane, it’s only the crazy people who are sane.

Reason doesn’t get much help these days, the world is mostly run by bureaucrats and fundamentalists, and whenever you think you’ve got them beat, you learn there’s a catch.

This book was delightfully reminiscent of a great conversation with friends over good wine or coffee, cathartically ranting about how crazy things really are. However, Heller takes that conversation and ups the clever quotient by around a billion.

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4. The Hunger Games Trilogy – Suzanne Collins

The films are on their way. Thus, shortly most everyone will probably be familiar with the story of Katniss Everdeen of District 12.

These books, set in post-apocalypse North America, are remarkably engaging and Collins’ depiction of the effects of violence on the young is unflinching.

There were moments the books could have gone one of two ways: the choice was to either be undemanding and cloying, or honest. Collins always chose to be honest to the narrative, even when the reader was hoping otherwise.

Some might feel that’s unsatisfying, I felt quite the opposite.

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5. Perdido Street Station – China Miéville

It’s pretty much impossible for me to describe this book at all. It’s not because I’ll give something away, it’s just that Miéville’s story, set in a fantasy world centered in the city of New Crobuzon, is so unique and involved that it would take far too long to give even a general outline.

Miéville’s world of Bas-Lag is a dark, gritty, steampunk world populated by a myriad of humanoid creatures that have to be read to be believed.

This guy is really smart, and by no means would you call this “easy reading.” Fun, yes. Easy, no. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you’ll need a degree in literature to enjoy the book, it’s just the sort of book that has to be engaged fully. This isn’t the sort of novel to be flipped through half-attentively, or else you’ll have no idea what the hell is going on.

Yet, it’s most certainly rewarding, enough so to make it more than worth your time. After 20 pages or so Miéville’s voice becomes more familiar and the harder part of the reading is actually putting the book down once in a while. This was one of those delightful times when I realized during my reading of the book that I’d be sure to read everything the author has ever written, and in this case, whatever he continues to write.

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6. The Graveyard Book – Neil Gaiman

By chance, a toddler escapes his home as a knife in the dark claims the rest of his family. Wandering into the local graveyard, the boy is taken in by the resident ghosts, protected from the danger that still looms without, and granted Freedom of the Graveyard, offering special privileges and powers which can only be bestowed by the residents of a graveyard.

Nobody, as the boy comes to be called, is cared for by the mysterious Silas, the only other resident of the graveyard who is not dead (although, he isn’t exactly alive either).

This is a really great story, at times made up of many smaller stories. Filled with Gaiman’s trademark style, the story is darkly magical and fantastic. Any chance I get to spend in Gaiman’s imagination is well worth the price of admission, and this book was no different.

The Graveyard Book is full of humor, sadness, beauty and above all, wonder. It’s Gaiman at the top of his game.

This book made me wish I myself had grown up in a graveyard, with all the quirky, idiosyncratic personalities from across the various ages of history.

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7. Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders – Neil Gaiman

Mr. Gaiman made it on the list twice, the only author to do so this year.

I’ve already written about this book at length, so I’ll just direct those interested to that.

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8. The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde

I assume that while there may be folks, like me, who never got around to reading this one in their youth, everyone at least knows the general story of a silly young man who makes a flippant wish, only to see the terrible consequences of what happens when that wish comes true.

Wilde was such a sagacious satirist of his culture. His genius leaps off the page from each sentence.

The thing that particularly impressed me was Wilde’s ability to put brilliant arguments and rationalizations in the mouths of his characters, so that one can’t help be see the grains of truth as well as the  lies the characters used to prop up their own morally ambiguous (and at times detestable) decisions and behavior. The dialogue lies like truth. Like in life, it was often hard to know where the truth ended and the lie began.

You can certainly sense the reality that Wilde was a playwright above all, but I do wish he had left the world a few more novels to cherish.

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9. The Power and the Glory – Graham Greene

I loved this book. This tale of a whiskey priest, on the run in a past-time Mexico where Catholicism is illegal, who continues to convince himself that his human weakness and frailty prohibit him from having anything to offer the people of Mexico. He almost never seems to notice that it is his human weakness and frailty that is his greatest offering. It is when he is “holy” and pious that he does the most harm, and when he is being honest and authentic that he transforms the lives around him with truth and beauty, seemingly blind to the profound impact he was having on those around him.

I must confess, before reading this book for a class, Graham Greene wasn’t on my radar at all. Well, he’s now taken up permanent residence right in the middle of my radar. He wrote with the simple, sparse power of Hemingway. The story and characters were so tragic and ordinary, and yet also full of life-changing power.

This book wasn’t just enjoyable, it quite literally changed the way I look at myself as a human being.

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10. The Road – Cormac McCarthy

The story of a father and a son attempting to make their way to the south after the apocalypse. Marked, as the world around them is, by profound violence and tragedy, the two attempt to carry hope in the midst of seemingly utter hopelessness.

As always, McCarthy’s writing is so sparse it doesn’t even include quotation marks. It works perfectly here, in this tense world in which the violence of a cannibalistic humanity is always waiting around the corner. At times, I was practically holding my breath while reading, because the prose was so quiet, I didn’t want to disturb the unfolding story. Or, perhaps I was so engaged in the narrative that I didn’t want to alert the story’s various villains to the location of the hiding father and son by breathing too loudly.

To be so relentlessly true to his vision of such a violent world, and yet still leave the reader with hope is quite the feat. McCarthy pulls it off beautifully.

This list has been in the works for far too long, as we’ve been adding more and more bands. Thus, here is part one, and we’ll get your part two very soon. Promise.

These are bands that are still early in their careers, maybe this is their first album, maybe it’s their sophomore work, either way, they’re artists on the rise. Each of these bands has us crazy excited to see what comes next, in what will hopefully be long careers marked by innovation and talent.

1. The Local Natives – Gorilla Manor

Brian: The Local Natives make catchy indie pop tunes with tight harmonies, and catchy melodies. I’m trying hard not to compare them to other bands, but that proves be to a bit hard, anyway. Scott does a fantastic job of articulating this better than I could.

The record is really catchy. I feel like The Local Natives are one of only a handful of bands (a large handful, considering how many bands are out there) that can make an album full of songs where none deserve to be skipped. Every song could be a hit.

Scott: I got this album thanks to last.fm. “Sun Hands” kept playing on my listener radio, and before I knew it, I’d bought the CD and was hooked. With all the bands I’ve been hearing about forever, only to finally get around to listening, it was nice to have a band come completely out of left field like this. They weren’t on my radar at all, and I went from having never heard of them to having them constantly in my playlists in mere days.

Gorilla Manor reminds me of Vampire Weekend, in that the band plays with various “World” rhythm styles at times. The album also reminds me again of Vampire Weekend, and also of Grizzly Bear, in that they are at once fun and earnest. According to Wikipedia, they are actually at times referred to as a sort of “West Coast Grizzly Bear.” Which, in one sense, is fair, while in another is a bit too dismissive of what The Local Natives bring to the table.

Either way, this album is good listening!

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2. Holy Fuck – Latin

B: Holy Fuck are a different type of electronic band … when you think of the electronic genre, maybe you first think of instrument loops and programmed elements. Holy Fuck does whatever they can to leave those conventions behind for live instrumentation. This aspect almost lends an organic, improvisational feel to their music as compared to more traditional electronic acts.

Latin, Holy Fuck’s latest offering, is fun and energetic. It possesses the raw, live feel of a show, but it is also polished and tight. They seem to have found their niche, and are clearly excelling. It is very safe to say that we here at RtM are excited to see what else Holy Fuck comes to the table with moving forward.

S: Holy Fuck offer exactly what I would expect from a band called Holy Fuck, a fun, sexy, electronic party in musical form.

Like Brian said, you won’t find electronica here. We get a band who avoids that overused subgenre to remind us all that electronic music is far bigger than music for a rave, a big part of it is using real drums and bass. It sounds like these guys love playing music together, and the fun they have making it works its way into your earholes and keeps your mind-grapes juicy.

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3. Lay Low – Farewell Good Night’s Sleep

S: Sparse, gentle, adorable American folk/country… from Iceland. Lay Low is great music for the dreary days of Reykjavík or Seattle.

Like so many great artists, this music can be the soundtrack for a broken heart. Not angry, no wallowing, this is a lullaby, a gentle kiss to see you off to sleep in the hopes that things will be a little better in the morning.

B: I agree. Lay Low’s music is  bluesy, folky, and country all wrapped into a nice little package that sounds like the music you’d hear on 1970s AM radio. She plays music that sounds old, and seems to sing from the heart of an old soul. The way the record was recorded sounds as if it should be played on vinyl and would totally blend in seamlessly when played after that George Jones record your dad used to play.

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4. Yeasayer – Odd Blood

S: I fell fast. I fell hard. This love was made to last forever.

I’ve already written enough about this album here.

B: These guys are pretty awesome. We knew this after 2007’s All Hour Cymbals. But, if there was any question, they’ve left no doubts now. Odd Blood is a complete album. It is dynamic in its pacing and contrast. There may not be a better pair of back to back songs than “Madder Red” and “O.N.E.”, though each track prior and after is pretty damn awesome too. The trajectory of Yeasayer after their first two albums is straight up, with no slump in site. To quote Spin magazine’s review of Odd Blood, “Where did this come from, and what’s coming next?”

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5. Breathe Owl Breathe – Magic Central

B: Beardy, caped goodness.

Apparently, Breathe Owl Breathe have been known to wear capes while performing. Lead vocalist Micah Middaugh has a pretty epic beard (even by indie standards). I will not be convinced otherwise that these two factors lead to the greatness of this band. Magic Central is an album full of acoustic guitars, cello, banjo, and soothing male/female vocals. It’s lovely Michigan-made music that sounds like it was made in and for the Pacific Northwest.

S: I’ve already done this with Local Natives, but I need to give credit where credit is due. Whereas I got into The Local Natives because of last.fm, I discovered Breathe Owl Breathe thanks to the greatest radio station in the universe, KEXP. Afternoon DJ Kevin Cole kept playing their music and singing the praises of this year’s album, Magic Central.

I enjoyed “Dogwalkers of the New Age” enough to pick up the whole album, and the rest is history. Brian’s right, you can practically hear the beard in Micah’s vocals, which are sweet and soft and perfect for story-time. I have really terrible insomnia, but I bet that if this man read to me every night, I would be sleeping peacefully in no time.

Really folks, this is beautiful stuff.

And speaking of heroes…

1. Dom Cobb – Inception

Alright haters, let’s get this straight one last time. Stop saying Inception failed to do what Dark City, or Eternal Sunshine, or Debbie Does Dallas did. Inception wasn’t trying to be all those other movies it is continually compared to. It was not a philosophical rumination on the nature of dreams, it was not meant to be the Citizen Kane of post-modern philosophy, it was not meant to get at any deep concept of what love is.

It’s attempt was to use the world of dreams as the backdrop for a kick-ass heist film, albeit with plenty of relational drama for our antagonist. Maybe you think it succeeded, maybe you think it didn’t, but you aren’t allowed to create your own imaginary comparisons to decide if a movie was successful. For example, you can decide to hate Jack-Ass 3D because you didn’t enjoy watching it, or as is true in my case, never plan to watch it, but it’s asinine to say it sucked because Knocked Up did a better job engaging what it means to finally become a real adult. You know, come to think of it, The Jerk sucked because Citizen Kane did a better job showing how a man might lose his soul as he gains success. And, Die Hard sucked because The Godfather II does a better job showing the impact men of violence have on a family. See that, I can use parallels in film to create bizarre criteria for film criticism too. Hooray!

If you want to compare Inception to a movie, or say it copied a genre, you need look no further than The Sting or Ocean’s 11. It’s not a big secret, just pay fucking attention and it’s pretty obvious. That’s the sort of movie they were trying to make, just in a way we’ve never seen before. Mission accomplished, bitches.

Yes, folks, this was a heist film.

Now, for a heist film to be entertaining, one of the primary needs is an engaging ringleader who is remarkably good at what they do, facing their toughest heist yet. Inception had that in spades, with Leo keeping shit real throughout the duration of our flight.

This fearless leader also needs a trusty side-kick to keep them honest (see Joseph Gordon-Levitt, or Brad Pitt in Ocean’s 11), a rich person to back the mission for one reason or another (see Ken Watanabe, or Elliott Gould in Ocean’s 11), some talented accomplices they’ve used on previous missions, who they recruit because they need the best (see Tom Hardy, or most of the team in Ocean’s 11), and a young protegé full of potential, so that our ringleader can explain how things work to the audience… I mean to the protegé (see Ellen Page, or Matt Damon in Ocean’s 11).

Still, it all revolves around the central ringleader. Leo kicked ass in this role. He was the perfect mix of swagger, skill, fear, and edge of sanity desperation. He brought a beautiful amount of depth and emotion to the role, enabling most audiences to care about whether or not that damned top stopped spinning.

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2. Scott Pilgrim – Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Ah, Scott Pilgrim. Our lovable everynerd.

The clueless slacker who can’t get shit sorted out. Yet, in the end, he finally grows up enough to make peace with his greatest enemy of all. Himself.

Loved the novels. Loved this movie. Love Scott Pilgrim.

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3. Hit Girl – Kick-Ass

The messages about the failure to protect children, the harm of violence, etc. is totally lost because the movie is just so fun to watch.

I love this badass little preteen.

She had me at, “Okay, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do now.”

Profanity, FTW!

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4. Kevin Flynn – Tron: Legacy

Tron: Legacy was a movie which, for some reason, I was expecting to disappoint me. I kept that to myself, not wanting to speak some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy into existence. Perhaps it was the fact critics were split down the middle on the film. I know, I’m not normally the guy who listens to critics, but Rotten Tomatoes does offer a cumulative value that one single critic doesn’t, so, universal praise or disdain will at least get me to think twice. Whatever the reason, it was in the back of my mind that the film was going to fall flat with me. I’m glad I was wrong.

I loved Tron: Legacy, as did my decidedly non-nerd wife. Many of the unfair critiques of Inception could be more fairly made of T:L. You aren’t going to see me giving it any awards for dialogue, or emotional depth, etc. In a lot of ways, it was similar to last year’s Avatar, in that it was a hugely visual spectacle, offering something we haven’t seen before, but it didn’t go crazy in the story department. It was pretty straightforward, sometimes a little silly. Although, I should point out that in my opinion, while you can draw comparisons to Avatar, Tron was infinitely more enjoyable as a movie-going experience. This was the most pure fun I had at the movies this year.

Seeing Flynn back, after lifetimes in The Grid, was pretty damned cool for a child of the 80’s like me. In a way, Flynn was what Neo should have been in the 2nd and 3rd Matrix movies. I know Flynn didn’t do much in the way of fighting, but even just the single scene in the club, when Flynn shows up and everything changes, was more excitement than Neo offered through four-ish hours of movie in Reloaded and Revolutions.

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5. Rooster Cogburn – True Grit

Yup, Jeff Bridges made it on the list TWICE. Any chance Rooster Cogburn secures him the honor of back to back Academy Awards for Best Actor? Which would also mean that two different actors win the award for playing the same character. Improbable, but definitely possible.

As I’ve already made clear during the Western manifestation of  ‘Another Day. Another Movie,’ my unique inability to enjoy John Wayne’s flat, seemingly drunken delivery of lines resulted in me hating this character in the original film. Yet, I wasn’t worried going into this one, because the role was in the capable hands of the Coen Bros. and The Dude.

Even so, I wasn’t ready for just how great all the characters and performances in this movie would be. While it’s not the Coen Brothers’ best film by any means, I do think it’s their most accessible.

True Grit is really funny, like, laugh-out-loud funny, and that’s in large part due to Bridges and his prickly, drunken, violent man of the American West.

If I had unlimited money, I think I would see if Jeff Bridges would be willing to spend two weeks with me, if I in turn donated a ton of cash to charity; the first week he’d be The Dude the whole time, the second week he’d be Rooster Cogburn.

Yeah, I like that idea. Does anyone have a whole mess of money and the number for Mr. Bridges’ agent?

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6. Bonnie – Toy Story 3

Folks, don’t believe the lies. It seems common to buy into the myth that cynicism, fear, skepticism, and criticism are the best postures to maintain as an intelligent adult.

Bullshit.

Sure, healthy skepticism and critical thinking skills are necessary, but think back on the greatest minds in history. Inventors, authors, innovators, world changers. How many of those folks could be characterized first and foremost as cynics and skeptics and folks driven by fear? Not many. Innovation and creativity come from the realm of wonder and imagination, often to a childlike degree.

I’m not arguing for everything to be puppy dogs and rainbows. My favorite storytellers most often have imaginations characterized as ‘dark.’ Yet, even some of the more darkly, even cynically creative folks of the past, like Hemingway or Vonnegut or Heller, etc., couldn’t escape the pull toward imaginative creation. Pure cynicism doesn’t allow for creation, because, you know… what’s the point?

Dark wonder is still wonder. For example, from today, the macabre imaginations of Gaiman and del Toro are still wildly beautiful and redemptive. Darkness and death are realities we cannot escape, why not engage them through the lens of creativity and mystery.

Anyway. Enter, Bonnie. Girl had imagination to spare. Her life was overflowing with beauty and mystery and magic.

I want to be more like her.

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7. Hiccup & Toothless – How to Train Your Dragon

I’ve already written about these two lovable rascals at length.

One of my favorite on-screen relationships of 2010, they are certainly characters I will enjoy coming back to for years to come.

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8. Rapunzel & Flynn Ryder – Tangled

Wha..? Three of the movies in my heroes list are animated films? What am I, like 12? No, wait, lots of 12-year-olds pretend to hate animated movies. What am I, like 9?

Well, in my defense, I’ll at least point out that two of the animated films on this list were on Quentin Tarantino’s list of ten favorite films of 2010, Tangled being one of the two (granted, the second half of his ‘top 20’ list gets a bit insane, what with Knight and Day and Robin Hood being on there, but, whatever).

Tangled was supposedly Disney’s last fairy tale for the foreseeable future. Well, they left the princess game in style.

**spoilers**

They continued to distance themselves from the tired concept of ‘Princess needs a handsome prince to save her,’ which is wonderful. She doesn’t need Flynn Ryder, she just loves him anyway. She’s the leader. She’s the truly charismatic one. He dies for her, but she saves him with her love, the way princes have been doing for princesses in Disney films since Snow White started it all. Plus, even when he dies for her he does so because she inspires him to be better than he was before. Her goodness is contagious.

As for Flynn Ryder, it was refreshing they didn’t go through the ‘lapses back into his old ways’ routine, where he leaves her to sell her out and then comes back later. He is on her side all along, and she just thinks he leaves her when he is kidnapped.

Plus, he’s voiced by Zachary Levi, and I love that guy. Even though he is making those dumb Xfinity commercials for Comcast.

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9. Aaron Sorkin – The Social Network

There are no two ways about it: the man is a screenwriting god.

As soon as the movie was over… hell, before the movie was over, I was thinking to myself, ‘Sweet Lord, this screenplay is perfect.’

He really is staggeringly good. I was right there with everyone else, thinking, ‘Okay, I’m down with Sorkin, but a movie about Facebook? I’m not so sure I’ll ever want to watch that.’ Yet, great writing, direction, and acting made this movie easily one of my favorite films of the year, and as the critical awards and kudos continue to roll out, it appears I’m far from the only one who can say that.

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10. Darren Aronofsky – Black Swan

Holy shit. Black Swan was amazing. Truly, unbelievably amazing!

Talking to Emily after we watched it, I told her I wished I could watch it again for the first time, just to experience it again, fresh. And I truly mean ‘experience.’ That’s the only way to accurately describe how I felt watching this movie. I experienced it.

The storytelling was absolutely stunning. Even the disturbing moments were never too disturbing, they were just disturbing enough to serve the story.

A beautiful film about beauty and perfection and brokenness and sexuality and abuse and fear and art and death and performance and power and relationship and madness and the uncomfortable reality that these things can never be totally separated, at least not in the world we currently inhabit. Oh yeah, and it’s about a ton of other shit as well. Layers people, layers!

And all the while, it was Aronofsky at the helm. He’s done so much brilliant work before, I don’t really get how he can leave all those other films behind so completely with the achievement of Black Swan, but Caucasian managed to pull it off.

P.S. – Clearly, those last two entries make it clear who gets my vote for Best Director and Best Screenplay this year.

It looks as if perhaps Whedon’s Avengers will be fighting aliens, as in the blue-skinned, humanoid Kree and the green-skinned, goblinesque Skrulls.

Since the Fantastic Four aren’t involved, I assume we won’t have any Super-Skrull.

It’s still way up in the air, this isn’t exactly solid proof. If it is true, it would make sense to use a huge alien threat as the reason for the first Avengers mission.

Let the shapeshifting tomfoolery begin!

[via AICN.]

Happy Christmas, from Roused to Mediocrity!

The newest Girl Talk album doesn’t have cool fan-made mash-up videos yet like Feed the Animals does. There is one that is pretty close, but for some reason there is a bunch of other images thrown in, most of them pointlessly sexist. I suppose a Feed the Animals video will have to do.

You’ll have to watch it on YouTube.

The sad eyes, the soft smile. This is great work.