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i’ve heard of self-sabotage, but this is ridiculous! or, 8 time travel movies where a protagonist is literally their own worst enemy. [time travel 101]

There’s no doubt that when Nietzsche said, “The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself,” he meant it figuratively. Yet, if our boy Freddy Wilhelm had taken time travel into account, I’m confident he would’ve expanded his meaning to include a literal interpretation.

The relationship each of us has with ourselves is a complicated thing. It’s often fraught and conflicted. For many of us it’s downright contentious. It’s a truth we see reflected in film, as the history of cinema is teeming with varied examples of self-sabotage. I’d say it’s harder to find movies where the main characters don’t act as one of the main obstacles they need to overcome as they fight for what they want or need.

Usually in movies, as in life, that struggle with self is internal. However, once you add time travel into the mix, the possibility arises for a character to encounter a past, future, or interdimensional version of themself. Suddenly, there’s a chance for this whole self-sabotage thing to slide decisively into the ‘external conflict’ column.

Obviously we’d all like to believe that, given the chance, all our various selves would be on the same team. After all, two, or three, or even ten heads are better than one. But sadly, if movies are any indication, the opposite is far more likely.

Needless to say, this is something any would-be time traveler needs to be prepared for! Whether it happens due to carelessness or necessity, once we start creating time loops that might bring us into contact with other versions of ourselves, dire consequences might be just around the corner.

The movies below can be a primer of sorts [hey, that’s the title of one of these movies!], as we explore one of the biggest hazards in time travel. There are so many dangerous characters we might meet out there in the spacetime continuum, but like Nietzsche (sort of) said, the most dangerous of all is probably you.

Here are eight time travel movies where a protagonist is literally their own worst enemy.

Spoiler Warning! For several of these movies, even finding out they belong on the list is a spoiler. As such, I implore you to proceed with the utmost caution. I’ve put them in ascending order of spoilerines, saving the most egregious examples for the end.

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Looper

“I don’t want to talk about time travel, because if we start talking about it then we’re going to be here all day talking about it, making diagrams with straws.”

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In Looper, the whole ‘your own worst enemy’ thing is baked right into the cake.

The film imagines a future where time travel exists, but the murder and discreet disposal of bodies has become a virtual impossibility. Rather than just giving up on the whole homicide thing, crime syndicates send the unfortunate targets of their ire back in time, where they are executed by specialized hitmen, such as the one played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. 

It’s a highly lucrative gig for those with the necessary lack of conscience, but it comes with a terrible caveat: taking the job means agreeing to eventually ‘close your loop’ by executing your future self, with grizzly consequences if you fail to do so. 

As can be expected, our protagonist inadvertently lets his future self escape, kicking off a race against time. Joe needs to kill himself before it’s too late, sacrificing his distant future to salvage his present. 

Enter Emily Blunt and the wee mutant Cid. Complications ensue, pathos is added to the time travel mayhem, and Rian Johnson proves yet again that no matter what genre he tackles, he’ll never fail to do something interesting and well-crafted [and yes, I’m including The Last Jedi. Fight me!] 

If you’re trying to understand the whole ‘your own worst enemy’ time travel trope, Looper is where you begin. 

Time Travel 101 Lesson: Don’t kill people for money. [I really hope this is a lesson you’ve already learned, with or without time travel being involved!]

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Endgame

“You disgust me, but that doesn’t mean you’re useless.”

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Ahead of the film’s release, if you’d asked fans, “Which heroes will get the most screen time in Avengers: Endgame?,” I can’t imagine anyone would’ve had a hard time correctly identifying that Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America would comprise the top three spots. After that, however, is there single fan alive who could have guessed that Nebula would come in fourth?!

The Russo Brothers had the daunting tasks of closing out a decade’s worth of stories, providing satisfying farewells for some of the most beloved characters in modern cinema, and trying to balance screen time and narrative significance for a remarkably large cast. To say screen time and narrative weight were at a premium would be a considerable understatement. Yet somehow, a supporting player from a franchise at the fringe of the MCU played a central role in the events that closed out the Infinity Saga.

Yet for all her time in the spotlight, it’s easy to miss just how great Nebula’s time travel storyline is. We’re talking USDA Prime time travel goodness, as Nebula literally grapples with the person she used to be. It’s a story arc that easily could’ve been the basis for an entire standalone Nebula film, yet in Endgame, it’s just another layer in a remarkably satisfying lasagna. [That’s two back-to-back food references, apparently I need to go make a snack.]

All that to say that, with Endgame, Nebula has earned her place amongst the all time great characters in cinematic time travel history!

Time Travel 101 Lesson: If you used to be a blood-thirsty murder-cyborg obsessed with earning the approval of an evil god, time travel is probably going to be more perilous for you than it is for the rest of us.

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The Infinite Man 

Lana: “Why do you hate yourself so much?”
Dean: “Are you kidding? Look at him.”

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Proof that you can make a great time travel movie with a minuscule budget, The Infinite Man is one of my favorite discoveries from this cinematic time travel deep dive. It’s funny, smart, and full to the brim with airtight time travel fun. 

When a romantic weekend getaway goes horribly wrong, a man creates a way to go back in time for a second chance to get things right. Unfortunately, the insecurity and self-loathing that ruined the weekend in the first place only get worse as he adds more versions of himself into the mix. 

No other film I’ve seen does a better job of using the ‘own worst enemy’ trope as a metaphor for our own propensity for self-sabotage, and this won’t be the last you’ll hear from me about this gem of a film that too few people have heard of! For now, suffice it to say you should absolutely watch it! 

Time Travel 101 Lesson: If you hate yourself, using time travel to create even more of you is never going to be a good idea. Or, to put it another way, if you’re already your own worst enemy figuratively, it’s a terrible idea to risk making it literal. 

In any case, proceed with extreme caution if you make the ill-advised decision to use time travel as a way to work out your issues with intimacy and self worth. 

Time Travel 101 Bonus Lesson: If you run into trouble while traveling in time and need some help, you could do a lot worse than heading down to Oceania. Australia and New Zealand have created a disproportionately large percentage of time travel films over recent years, including three of the nine movies on this list! It shouldn’t be hard to find some experts in the field, cinematically speaking of course. 

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Mega Time Squad

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I’m a sucker for droll New Zealand comedy [Taika for life!], and Mega Time Squad delivers in spades. It even features What We Do in the Shadows’ Jonny Brugh as a “crime boss” in small-town New Zealand (and I mean smallllltown), whose entire gang is just a bunch of dumb, shiftless 20-somethings. 

One of those dumb, shiftless 20-somethings is John, our time traveling protagonist. During an inept robbery meant to be part of an even more inept double-cross, he winds up taking a bracelet that can zap him a short ways back in time. As they always are, the magical bracelet is cursed. As they always do, he ignores the warning.

As he tries to elude would-be murderers, John starts creating time loops to team up with two or three versions of himself at a time. Surprising no one, this quickly escalates. The result is the creation of so many Johns that they start their own gang: the Mega Time Squad! 

Trouble is, when all the Johns want the money, and all the Johns want to get the girl in the end, it’s not hard to see how the whole thing quickly devolves into an ‘own worst enemy’ scenario.

While it features a fair amount of murder, Mega Time Squad is still a bighearted comedy filled with dim-witted but lovable characters and all the offbeat, deadpan Kiwi comedy you could ask for. 

Time Travel 101 Lesson: Don’t use time loops to intentionally create a bunch of versions of yourself. Just don’t. 

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The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

“The winds were ferocious. The isolation, intense. I waited for my friends, seemed to last forever. That’s when I learned, there was no one I could trust but me.”

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Let’s be honest, the first LEGO movie was far better than anyone expected. The general, well-warranted assumption was that the film would be the sort of lazy kids movie that uses a familiar IP to make a bunch of money, even though the movie is shit. Think The Smurfs franchise, The Angry Birds MovieThe Emoji Movie, the Alvin and the Chipmunks franchise, and on and on.

Instead, we got a smart, well-written, genuinely funny, feel good movie with an unexpected bit of emotional depth on the back end.

While it’s not as good as the original, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is still a worthy successor, and this time there’s time travel! 

Who knew Undar of the Dryar System would turn the relentlessly optimistic and warmhearted Emmet Brickowski into such a huge dick? Well, it did, forcing present-day Emmet to face off against Rex Dangervest, a bitter, angry, badass future version of himself. 

Oh, and Rex also just so happens to be voice actor Chris Pratt’s movie avatar: “a Galaxy-defending archaeologist, cowboy, raptor trainer—who likes building furniture, busting heads, and having chiseled features previously hidden under baby fat!” It’s exactly the sort of silly but clever plot twist we can count on in a Phil Lord and Chris Miller joint. 

Time Travel 101 Lesson: No matter how great you are now, you still need to be wary of future versions of yourself. None of us are immune to turning into an asshole.

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One More Spoiler Warning: These last three are relatively even in spoiler factor, and that degree is significant. All three are must watch time travel movies, but knowing the characters wind up fighting themselves is a considerable spoiler.

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Timecrimes (Los Cronocrímenes)

“We still have a while before it starts raining.”

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Nacho Vigalondo’s 2007 time travel horror/thriller is an indisputable must-watch title if you’re taking a tour of the genre. It’s also required viewing for the educational purposes of Time Travel 101.

Hector’s day is horrifying enough when he’s stabbed by a mysterious man in a trench coat and a face wrapped in pink bandages. That day gets significantly worse when, while trying to hide from said villain, he inadvertently gets in a time machine.

His trip to earlier that day kicks off an ever-worsening nightmare scenario. Every time he gets back in the machine, hoping to preclude the day’s tragedies, he only continues to reveal a horrible truth: the tragedy is worse than he realized, and he played a larger role in it than he could’ve imagined.

Los Cronocrímenes is a great example of the ‘own worst enemy’ trope, and it’s on my shortlist of the greatest time travel films of all time.

Time Travel 101 Lesson: It may only take a few hours to transform you into someone you barely recognize, both literally and figuratively.

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Primer

Abe: “I’m not into the whole destiny ‘there’s-only-one-right-way’ thing.”
Aaron: “Abe, I’m not either, but what’s worse, you know, thinking you’re being paranoid, or knowing you should be?”

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This microbudget-mumblecore-sci-fi gem is the platonic ideal of DIY filmmaking. There are no special effects, the most exotic location is a storage facility, wardrobe most likely came directly out of the actors’ closets, the main cast could fit in a sedan, and the time travel machine props were probably built with supplies from a quick trip to Home Depot. Long story short, the entire film cost $7k to make!!

It’s the story of two men who inadvertently create a time machine, then struggle to come to terms with how to use it responsibly, while still using it for personal gain. As their philosophies on time travel continue to diverge, their relationship devolves into a web of mistrust and betrayal. This not only pits them against each other, but against alternate versions of themselves – some of whom they don’t even know exist!

The film’s tension is primarily powered by how tightly crafted the mind-bending time travel chicanery is. The budget for the pens and paper you’ll go through trying to track the time loops will likely approach what it cost for writer-director-star Shane Carruth to make the movie in the first place!

Time Travel 101 Lesson: Time travel is a powerful thing. You suddenly have the ability to act in the past with knowledge of the future, or interfere with events over and over until you get a desired outcome. It doesn’t take much imagination to see how easily this might begin to feed our darker impulses,

Proceed with caution, because as the adage goes, power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and time travel power corrupts time travelly.

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Triangle

“Downstairs right now is a copy of me. Me! Walking and talking with Greg!”

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With this entry, Triangle officially becomes the first movie to be featured on two different lists! [Spoiler alert: it won’t be the last time the movie shows up!]

The film features three iterations of the same time loop, overlapping each other as they repeat simultaneously in the same physical space, albeit in staggered sequence. Needless to say, it’s up there with Primer as the two mind-bendiest films on the list. Every time you think you’ve figured things out, the movie rocks beneath your feet, shifting your perspective to reveal nothing is what you thought it was. Even for the seasoned cinephiles among us, who pride ourselves on seeing reveals coming a mile away, the movie has a habit of turning those reveals upside down later in the film.

The sole character aware of what’s happening quickly finds herself at odds with the versions of herself from the other loops (I told you, it’s mind-bending!), leaving her desperately trying to figure out what the fuck is actually happening in time to save her friends in spite of herself. Literally.

The possible causes of the time loop in Triangle are more mysterious and supernatural than any time travel we might get up to, but it still most definitely offers a worthwhile case study in just how horrifying interactions with alternate versions of one’s self can get.

Time Travel 101 Lesson: [Significant additional, but theoretical, spoiler! Do not read if you ever plan to watch this movie!] If the reason you’re at odds with yourself is a repeating time loop kicked off when you did something truly monstrous, you just might be in hell!

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Bonus: Deadpool 2

“You’re welcome, Canada.”

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Deadpool 2’s main story doesn’t feature any characters battling themselves, but the post-credits scene sure does. Wade Wilson uses Cable’s time travel device to right wrongs as he hops back and forth along multiple timelines. After making sure to retroactively save his girlfriend from her tragic demise, he breaks the fourth wall long enough to correct two infamous Ryan Reynolds career choices. He kills the horrible Deadpool adaptation from X-Men Origins: Wolverine (right before he has a chance to kick off the terrible final battle), then murders the actual Ryan Reynolds just after he decides to accept the eponymous role in Warner Bros’ Green Lantern. Are they examples of a character at odds with other versions of himself? Yes. Would ridding the world of those two abominations be a gift to humanity? Definitely! However, as far as ridding the world of abominations goes, he does ultimately fail to find the nerve to kill baby Hitler.

Time Travel 101 Lesson: Be careful about the embarrassing mistakes you make, or else a vindictive, smart-ass version of yourself might come back and kill you just to get a laugh.

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And there you have it, 8.5 time travel movies to help us navigate one of time travel’s greatest perils. Happy watching!

Additional viewing: Bill & Ted Face the Music, Hurok, Reset, Army of Darkness, Predestination, +1.

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welcome to time travel 101, or, i’m about to watch waaaaaay too many time travel movies.

I don’t think anyone will accuse me of hyperbole when I say that the last twelve months have been, to use the scientific term, an absolute fucking nightmare.

As I publish this, we’ve just passed the one year anniversary of the full Covid-19 lockdowns around the globe, and even a worldwide pandemic that killed millions was just the most notable entry on a long list of deadly disasters. I’m sure I don’t need to go into detail, you were there after all, but 2020 featured earthquakes, wildfires, volcanic eruptions, typhoons, a tsunami, hurricanes, flash floods, and an explosion in Beirut so big it was felt in at least five other countries. Throw in increasingly draconian tactics by governments and police in response to unconnected protests in countries around the world – United States, India, Myanmar, and Nigeria to name a few – and its clear the word apocalyptic isn’t a hyperbolic adjective for the last year. And it didn’t begin with 2020, with at least the last five years revealing themselves to be a series of ever-worsening hellscapes. Every time we think we’ve reached the bottom, we find out we’ve only just begun our descent.

Seeing as how all indicators point to a forecast of shitty with a chance of catastrophe, it’s well past the time for me to devise an exit strategy to get out of this mess. In truth, I should have had a go-bag packed by the front door ages ago, so it’s time to get my shit together. The last thing I’d want is to be caught unprepared when things go from worse to worst to holy fuck this is bad!

Here’s the thing, though, where does one escape when the chaos and clusterfuckery is everywhere? There’s certainly no quarter to be found by merely fleeing to a new locale.

No, the way I see it, there are only four real options.

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Option 1: Gear up, train hard, and try to survive in an apocalyptic wasteland.

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I’ll just be straight with you, I am very much not a survivalist. But even if I had more of the necessary qualities, this option is still a hard sell. By definition, any attempt to survive beyond Thunderdome is a nightmare scenario.

I mean, who knows, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to find a remote and undiscovered safe haven. Maybe you can even build a nice little life for yourself as you try to ride out the apocalypse, but how long could that really last before someone stumbles across your idyllic post-apocalyptic oasis? Sorry to my fellow spoiler-phobes out there, but that story doesn’t have a happy ending.

The opposite alternative would be to head out on the road and never stop moving, trying to survive by your wits on an unending search for the resources you need to survive another day. I’d say this strategy is the epitome of the whole ‘prolonging the inevitable’ thing. Your best chance of surviving would be finding a cannibal murder cult willing to let you join up, maybe because you have the same taste in music or books or something.

Even with all the zombie movies I’ve watched in preparation, I don’t see myself surviving long in either of these scenarios.

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Option 2: An underground bunker or shelter

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Now, I’m talking here about the sort of fallout shelter you lock yourself into and don’t leave for years or decades while you hope everything up top blows over. As far as bunkers you stay in for safety at night while living your daily life above ground, that would be covered above, under Option 1.

The whole full-time underground scenario is going to be a hard pass for me for so many reasons, the most urgent of which is my severe claustrophobia. Now, maybe I could make this option work if I had access to one of those massive fallout paradises created exclusively for the uber-wealthy (which was also stocked with an indefinite supply of powerful psychiatric medications), but let’s be honest, I’ll never qualify for one of those. If I end up trapped in anything smaller, breathing nothing but recycled air indefinitely, I’d have a series of increasingly intense panic attacks before finally succumbing to a stroke or heart attack. No joke.

Sorry, Ben Folds, I can’t be happy underground.

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Option 3: Space travel

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Again, claustrophobia! It would take quite the colossal generational space ark for me to survive even the early weeks of the voyage without having a complete meltdown, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t see any colossal generational space arks in our near future.

Alternatively, I’m also a no-go on the whole cryogenic hibernation thing. I mean, how many happy endings have you heard for stories about subzero space slumber? There’s always some sort of catastrophic system failure, after which some people die in their pods while others go space mad and turn on each other, or die of some horrifying alien virus, or are picked off one by one by a super-predator. It’s never, “And then the brave explorers were awoken ahead of schedule, because they’d been discovered by aliens who wanted to share space cupcakes and the secret to immortality.”

So, space travel? No-thank-you-please.

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Option 4: Time travel

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And here we come to the correct answer. I mean, come on, this is obviously the best option! When all else fails, it’s best to just grab your flux capacitor, kick that DeLorean up to 88 mph, and party like it’s… well, whatever fucking year you want!

And as we’ve established, for me it’s not simply the best option, but the only option.

Good, so that’s settled. Now the real work begins. I’ve got so much to learn to make this dream a reality. This isn’t the sort of endeavor where you just wing it and hope for the best.

For one, there’s the question of how one travels through time. I mean, are we talking a traditional Wellesian time machine? Maybe a vehicle of some sort, or some wearable tech? Will there be dimension hopping, or black holes, or maybe some wormholes? Will some fourth-dimensional alien technology play a role? A deal with the gods or some other mysterious mystical tomfoolery? Maybe the trick is surrounding myself with artifacts of an earlier time and using self-hypnosis to convince myself I’m in the past (I know that one sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it worked for Christopher Reeve).

Once a method of travel is finally settled on, there is still so much to account for. This is time travel we’re talking about, and it’s certainly nothing to be taken lightly. There’s so much that can go wrong, not just for me, but for all of human history, all of time and space for that matter! If I’m going to safely navigate the space-time continuum, and help all my loved ones do the same – while avoiding destroying the entire universe or whatever – I’m going to need to become a bonafide expert.

I bet you’re out there asking, “But Scott, how will you become such an expert? Will you spend a decade-plus getting multiple doctorates related to quantum physics? Will you spend thousands of hours exploring the relationship between speed, gravity, and time, whilst studying theories of negative energy density, wormholes, and cosmic strings?”

No, of course not. First off, I have more than enough student debt as it is before heading back for the masters level post-graduate work I’d need to get me started. Besides, that just seems like a whole fucking thing. Pass.

I’ve got an even better idea. I’m going to watch an absurdly long list of movies and see if that does the trick. I’m fairly confident a crash course in the storied history of time travel cinema will teach me everything I need to know to execute, survive, and even thrive during my temporally flexible adventures. Trust me, the logic checks out.

I’m certainly not entering my studies as a complete neophyte, but while I’m already relatively well-versed in the subgenre, the time for half measures has come and gone. I’m going all-in, whole-hog, full-bore! We’re talking a deep dive into the celluloid space-time continuum, and I’m inviting all of you to come along.

And what a deep dive it will be! It turns out there are a lot of time travel movies. Like, I knew there was a sizable catalogue, but when I started doing research for this series there were soooo many more than I could’ve guessed. Like, every time I reached the bottom of a rabbit hole of obscure time-travel films, it’s not that the hole would get deeper, it’s that I’d find another rabbit hole. I guess I really shouldn’t have been surprised. Time travel stories date back to at least the 1700s, and 2021 marks the 100 year anniversary of time travel in film (that’s not the reason I’m doing this, but it’s a nice little bit of kismet).

So far – and knowing me, I’ll keep searching – I’ve compiled a list of over 180 movies, that I’ll be using to watch my way to time travel expertise.* And because I’m nice like that, I’ll share conveniently organized movie lists with all of you, both for your viewing pleasure, and to aid you should you choose to devise a time hopping exit strategy of your very own.

I do hope you’ll join me on my cinematic time travel odyssey, beginning next week with a movie list all about resetting time loops.

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*Full disclosure: I won’t watch or rewatch every film on the list. Even taking a mastery of time itself into effect, life’s way too short to spend 96 minutes watching the 2002 adaption of The Time Machine.

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my year in movies, 2020.

A new year is officially underway, which means it’s time for my annual tradition of sharing every movie I watched the previous year. You know, the list which absolutely no one asked for, but that keeps on coming back just the same. [I did miss 2018 somehow. I’m still not sure how that happened.]

This year was, quite predictably, unprecedented as far as my movie-watching habits went. I watched 221 movies this year! Mostly because once quarantine began, depression and anxiety became my only daily obligations, resulting in 2020 being my biggest movie-watching year since I started keeping track back in 2008. [If you’re curious, the tally for previous years is: 150 in 2008 – 200 in 2009 – 200 in 2010 – 203 in 2011 – 200 in 2012 – 167 in 2013 – 105 in 2014 – 125 in 2015 – 125 in 2016 – 144 in 2017 – 104 in 2018 – 126 in 2019]  

I love publishing these lists, so I hope someone out there likes ‘em. And if any other nerds out there kept track of the movies they watched last (or any) year, I’d love to see the list! I genuinely like this sort of thing, whether it’s my list or anyone else’s.

Anyway, here you go, every movie I watched in 2020.

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The key is mostly the same as always:
(#) Movie I saw in the theater.
[#] Movie I saw for the first time.
E# – Movies I watched with Emily.
Favorites — Underlined titles are then ones that have stood up, after repeated viewings, and still keep me coming back for more. They’re the ones I’ve seen before, and will certainly watch again.
**Best new (to me) movies — Titles with an asterisk are the films I loved the most out of those I’d never seen before.

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January 

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**1. Her Smell [1]

2. Brittany Runs a Marathon [2] E1

**3. Maiden [3] E2 

4. Missing Link [4] 

**5. I Lost My Body [5] 

6. Long Day’s Journey Into Night [6] 

7. Good Boys [7] 

8. Ash is Purest White [8] 

9. Alita: Battle Angel [9] E3 

10. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before – E4 

11. Paddington 2 

12. The Adventures of Tintin

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February 

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13. The Gentlemen [10] (1) E5 

14. Beginners 

15. Inside Llewyn Davis – E6

16. Win Win

17. The Other Guys

18. Birds of Prey [11] (2) E7

19. Shame

20. The One I Love 

21. Bad Boys for Life [12] (3) 

22. Safety Not Guaranteed 

23. About Time 

24. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

25. My Own Private Idaho [13] 

26. Blinded by the Light [14] E8

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March 

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**27. Ford v Ferrari [15] E9 

**28. Midsommar [16] 

29. Fast Times at Ridgemont High [17] 

**30. The Invisible Man [18] (4) 

31. Onward [19] (5) E10  

32. Color Out of Space [20] 

33. Mission: Impossible – E11 

34. Frozen II [21] E12 

35. Sleuth (1972) [22] 

36. Yesterday [23]  

37. The Avengers – E13 

38. On the Town [24] E14

39. The Sandlot – E15 

40. The Battered Bastards of Baseball – E16 

**41. Pain and Glory [25] 

42. No No: A Dockumentary – E17 

43. 61* – E18 

44. Knives Out – E19 

45. The Battery [26] 

46. The Natural – E20 

47. Everybody Wants Some!! – E21 

48. Damn Yankees [27]  

49. The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings [28]  

50. The Pride of the Yankees [29]  

51. For the Love of the Game [30] E22 

52. Late Life: The Chien-Ming Wang Story [31] 

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April

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53. Bull Durham – E23 

54. Pelotero [32] 

55. Sugar – E24 

56. Brothers in Exile [33] 

57. Fear Strikes Out [34]  

58. Moneyball – E25 

59. Field of Dreams – E26 

60. A League of Their Own – E27 

61. Iron Man 3 – E28 

62. Take Me Out to the Ballgame [35] E29

63. Off the Black [36] 

64. Cobb [37] 

65. Thor: The Dark World – E30 

66. The Stratton Story [38] 

67. The Phenom – E31 

68. The Bad News Bears 

69. Major League – E32 

70. Eight Men Out – E33 

**71. I Will Buy You [39] 

72. Bang the Drum Slowly [40] E34 

73. Love Wedding Repeat [41] E35

74. Captain America: Winter Soldier – E36 

75. Holy Motors [42]  

76. Guardians of the Galaxy – E37 

77. Avengers: Age of Ultron – E38 

78. Zombieland: Double Tap [43] 

**79. Kagemusha [44] 

**80. Police Story [45] 

81. Rocketman [46] E39 

82. Minority Report 

83. Ant-Man – E40 

84. His Girl Friday – E41 

85. Diamantino [47]

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May

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86. Captain America: Civil War – E42 

87. Doctor Strange – E43 

88. Drugstore Cowboy [48]

**89. Sex, Lies, and Videotape [49] 

90. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 – E44

91. Seven Samurai – E45 

92. Spider-Man: Homecoming – E46 

**93. Sword of Doom [50]  

94. Peanut Butter Falcon [51] E47 

**95. The Handmaiden [52]

96. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse – E48

97. The Night Comes For Us [53] 

98. Thor: Ragnarok – E49 

**99. Transit [54] 

100. McCabe and Mrs. Miller [55] 

101. Black Panther – E50 

102. Under the Skin [56] 

**103. Extraction [57] E51 

104. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood [58] E52 

105. Y Tu Mama, Tambien [59] 

106. 3:10 to Yuma (1957)[60] 

107. Avengers: Infinity War – E53 

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June

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**108. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown [61]

**109. Queen & Slim [62] 

**110. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans [63] 

**111. Blindspotting [64] 

**112. Emma. [65] 

113. Local Hero [66] 

**114. Vast of Night [67] 

115. Malcolm X [68] 

116. She’s Gotta Have It [69] 

117. Foxy Brown [70] 

118. The Favourite [71] 

119. The Royal Tenenbaums [Commentary: Wes Anderson] 

120. Doctor Sleep [72] 

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July

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**121. Hamilton [73] E54

122. Plus One  [74] E55 

**123. Beauty and the Beast (1946) [75]  

124. Abominable [76] E56 

125. House of Flying Daggers [77] 

**126. Palm Springs [78] E57 

127. I Am Not Your Negro – E58 

**128. Steven Universe: The Movie [79]  

129. Avengers: Endgame – E59 

130. Soylent Green [80] 

131. Cold Case Hammarskjöld [81] 

**132. Thunder Road [82] 

**133. All About My Mother [83] 

134. Aniara [84] 

135. Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am [85] E60 

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August

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136. One Cut of the Dead [86] 

137. The Souvenir [87] 

138. Extra Ordinary [88] 

**139. Da 5 Bloods [89] E61 

140. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof [90] 

**141. Blindspotting – E62 

**142. Volver [91] 

143. Short Cuts [92] 

**144. Kwaidan [93] 

145. Guns Akimbo [94] 

146. Class Action Park [95] E63  

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September 

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147. Get Duked [96]  

148. First Love [97] 

149. The Old Guard [98] E64 

**150. Three Colors: Red [99] 

151. Climax [100] 

152. MFKZ [101] 

153. Happy Death Day [102] 

154. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm 

**155. Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé [103] E65

156. Point Break – E66

157. Prospect [104] 

158. 13th [105] E67 

159. The Lure [106] 

160. Tigers Are Not Afraid [107] 

161. WolfCop [108] 

162. Get Out – E67 

**163. The Skin I Live In [109] 

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October

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164. They Live [110] 

165. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer [111] 

166. Grave Encounters [112] 

167. Under the Shadow [113] 

168. Nightbreed [114]  

169. Night of the Living Dead – E68 

170. Straw Dogs [115] 

171. Shaun of the Dead 

172. 1408 [116] 

173. The Howling [117] 

174. [REC] 

175. ParaNorman – E69 

176. Return of the Living Dead [118] 

177. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit – E70 

178. Vampires vs. The Bronx [119] 

179. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon [120] 

180. Save Yourselves! [121] E71 

181. The Hunger [122] 

182. Lake Mungo [123] 

**183. Audition [124] 

184. Juan of the Dead [125] 

185. Cabin in the Woods – E72 

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November

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186. Enola Holmes [126] E73 

187. Tale of Tales [127] 

188. Molly’s Game [128] 

189. The Lovebirds [129] E74 

**190. Uncut Gems [130] 

**191. All In: The Fight For Democracy [131] E75

192. Dellamorte Dellamore (Cemetery Man) [132] 

193. Three Identical Strangers [133] E76 

194. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

195. The Endless [134] 

196. The Happiest Season [135] E77 

197. Home Alone – E78 

**198. Black Christmas [136] 

199. Knives Out – E79 

200. Better Watch Out [137] 

201. Elf – E80 

**202. Matador [138] 

203. Tenet [139] E81 

204. Manhunter [140] 

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December 

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**205. Uncorked [141] E82 

206. Krampus [142] 

207. Bad Education (2020) [143] E83 

208. The Brothers Bloom 

209. The Nightmare Before Christmas – E84 

210. The Night Before [144] E85 

211. Rare Exports 

212. A Muppet Christmas Carol – E86

**213. Christmas Evil (You Better Watch Out) [145] 

214. A Christmas Horror Story [146] 

**215. The Wolf of Snow Hollow [147] 

216. A Christmas Story – E87 

217. Get Santa [148] E88 

**218. Klaus [149] E89 

219. Wonder Woman 1984 [150] E90 

**220. Soul [151] E91 

221. Miss Bala [152] 

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seven horror movies from the golden age of practical effects (aka the 80s). [halloween movie fest 2020.]

It may be 2020, but the 1980s are alive and well. Neon lights and retro logos are in, synths and new wave are ascendant, and pop culture is saturated with nostalgia for the shows, films, and franchises of the decade.

Now, any celebration of 80’s culture would be incomplete if we left out the incontrovertible truth that the decade was the golden age of practical effects in horror. The era was hugely significant for the genre because of the other incontrovertible truth, practical horror effects are vastly superior to their CGI counterparts. This is known.

Seriously, you go find all the outdated CGI that’s still scary, and I’ll go find all the old practical effects that are still horrifying, and we’ll compare lists. It would be a fun exercise, because after you can’t find any examples we can just watch 80’s horror movies all night.

On second thought, let’s not waste time, and instead skip right to the part where we watch 80’s horror. Here are five movies from the golden age of practical horror effects you should watch this Halloween.

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Alien

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Okayokayokay, I know, Alien came out in 1979, but I’m including it because, a) it’s a brilliant movie with terrifying practical effects, b) it’s part of the dawn of the golden age, and it transitions out of the 70s, a decade with amazing practical effects in its own right that set the tone for what was to come, c) I can do what I want.

Obviously, the chestburster scene is one of the most iconic moments in film history, but it doesn’t end there. All of the physical realizations of H.R. Giger’s disturbing artwork of phallic alien monstrosities are scary as hell. Alien is the precursor to a decade that would use practical effects to give us monsters that still haunt our nightmares in 2020.

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The Thing

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The Thing is an all-timer, featuring one of my favorite final scenes, ever.

John Carpenter effectively immerses you in the horror and paranoia of being trapped in the middle of Antarctica with a monster who can look like anyone. A monster who just so happens to be hellbent on killing and assimilating you and whichever of your friends are still actually your friends. Even worse, it will then use your likeness to get back to civilization and murder the whole planet.

As great as the concept is, the deep psychological horror is rooted in how terrifying the Thing itself is to behold. Without Rob Bottin’s remarkable effects, the movie would likely have fallen flat and become another example of a potentially great sci-fi horror film ruined by visual inadequacies and limitations. Instead, Bottin and his team delivered one of the most horrifying monsters ever committed to screen.

In the case for the supremacy of practical effects, The Thing is Exhibit A.

Not so fun fact: Bottin worked so hard that he ended up in the hospital from exhaustion at the close of filming.

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An American Werewolf in London

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If you ever come across a list of great practical effects in film that leaves off John Landis’s 1981 horror-comedy, throw it right in the trash.

An American Werewolf in London features the undisputed greatest werewolf transformation scene of all time. Almost four decades later, with huge leaps forward in what can be rendered onto our screens, and no one else has even come close.

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The Fly

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He’s the master of body horror, so David Cronenberg’s entire filmography is a cornucopia of disturbing practical effects. Videodrome and Scanners are notable mainstays on ‘best of’ lists, but for my money, The Fly reigns supreme.

It’s overflowing with disgusting practical effects, with each gross-out scene topped just moments later by something even more horrifying. But what I love most is that it’s all used to tell a focused, tragic, character-driven story of a man’s transformation into a monster.

Bonus: we’re living in the midst of a glorious Jeff Goldblum renaissance, so whether you’d be revisiting The Fly or experiencing it for the first time, now is a great time to watch one of his absolute best performances.

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The Evil Dead films

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Practical effects aren’t just superior in films aiming to shock viewers for genuine scares. They’re also best when it comes to horror more interested in being darkly silly and ridiculous with its gore, and there is absolutely no better example than the Evil Dead films.

These movies are so over-the-top, so delightfully and unrelentingly insane, and the practical effects are what make the whole thing work. CGI never could have done justice to the vile, unholy magic of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis

It should also be noted that Bruce Campbell is the human embodiment of practical effects. The world would be a sadder place if it didn’t have Ash Williams in it.

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Bonus: 1992’s Braindead [aka Dead Alive]

Okay, this one isn’t an 80s movie, but if we’re going to talk about practical effects creating absurdly gory slapstick, we have to mention the bloodiest practical horror film of all time: Braindead (released as Dead Alive in the US).

Before Peter Jackson became internationally famous for adapting The Lord of the Rings, he made The Frighteners with Michael J. Fox, an underrated bit of genre fare that would fit right into any Halloween Movie Fest.

But before that, he made one of the dumbest, goofiest, weirdest, most ludicrously over-the-top gross-out gore-fests of all time. Try to imagine what that would look like and you still wouldn’t be close. Forget the same ballpark, you wouldn’t even be in the same galaxy.

Anyway, the film reportedly used 80 gallons of fake blood, making it objectively the bloodiest movie of all time. The lawnmower scene alone makes that easy to believe.

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halloween movie fest 2017, movies fifteen through twenty-one.

Happy belated Halloween! The good news is that I was able to watch 26(!) movies for HMF17. The bad news is that I never got around to writing about half of them before the actual holiday.

Fortunately, there are no rules on RtM so I can just post Halloween themed content well into November.

Movie Fifteen – Don’t Breathe

“There is nothing a man cannot do once he accepts the fact that there is no god.”

I don’t have much to say about this one. I liked Alvarez’s direction, but not his writing. Aside from the interesting premise and terrific performance by Stephen Lang as the villain, the rest of the story felt weak in the midst of an otherwise well-crafted film.

Mostly I just didn’t care what happened to these characters. In a larger slasher film, that’s beside the point. We actually only need to care about and root for the final girl. Whether or not we care for the more ill-fated characters or instead are meant to enjoy watching them die is up to the filmmakers — both are common. Don’t Breathe is different. If I’m going to spend the majority of the film trapped in a house with two characters trying to survive, I need to give a shit about them in a way that isn’t rooted entirely in cliches.

Unexpected aside: I’m realizing I need to change the format of Halloween Movie Fests and ‘Another Day, Another Movie’ for future installments (if there are any). The whole point of this blog — when I’m actually writing it — is that I don’t waste time on stuff I don’t like or care about. Partly because it’s a waste of energy unless I’m offering some genuine critique in a larger cultural context, but even more because I’d rather learn from someone who loves a movie I didn’t get than shit all over a film someone else really loves, quite possibly for great reasons. This is especially true regarding classics I didn’t like or see the appeal of.

It’s not that I never want to be critical, it’s just that it requires more care and thought than what I have time to offer in this format.

I think I might try to think of a way to lean more heavily into the curation — which is what I actually like doing to begin with — for future HMF’s, instead of boring my friends with uninspired complaints about films.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? No.

Where Can You Watch It? Starz.


Movie Sixteen – Tetsuo: The Iron Man

And here I thought House was bonkers. Tetsuo is fucked up — intentionally so. A gonzo body horror metaphor about the replacement of the natural world with the industrial world, the film is less a well-drawn story and more a series of horrifying moments and images following three characters as a man is mysteriously transformed into a metal monstrosity after a hit-and-run.

Super low budget in the best possible way, this is the perfect example of how wide-ranging the possibilities within film are.

Tetsuo is full of gross out scenes that go way over the top, it’s dark and violent, getting more and more insane with each of its 77 minutes. It definitely draws inspiration from films like Eraserhead. 

This is one of those ones that felt like it nailed everything it was trying to do perfectly, even if personally it’s not the sort of movie I want to rewatch again and again.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Maybe as part of a more in-depth film study, but probably not for fun.

Where Can You Watch It? Kanopy (if your library participates).


Movie Seventeen – XX

“I have made my contribution. I like to believe that I’ve made a difference in all of this. I have been blessed to watch over you all these years, and to watch over Andy, to prepare the world for this glorious day! There’s nothing to be afraid of Cora. It’s his time, is all. Praise, praise his darkness.”

XX is an anthology of four horror shorts, all written and directed by women — including St. Vincent. As is almost always the case with anthologies like this, it was uneven, but solid overall.

What I really want to write about is Karyn Kasuma. Last year I absolutely loved her film The Invitation during HMF, and her segment in XX just confirms to me that she is a filmmaker we should all be really excited about.

Her short, “Her Only Living Son,” brilliantly uses the Rosemary’s Baby concept, in large part wrestling with white male privilege and how it creates and feeds monsters. That sounds like the short is really political or preachy, but it isn’t. It’s just the sort of horror that tackles the horrifying things in ordinary life by exaggerating it with a horror lens.

I have to go rewatch The Invitation now, but I also can’t wait for Kasuma to do more.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Probably just the Karyn Kusama segment.

Where Can You Watch It? Netflix.


Movie Eighteen – Coraline

“Hush and shush, for the Beldam might be listening.”

On their own, Laika animation company’s stop-motion films and Neil Gaiman are among my very favorite things. Combine them, and I’m obviously all over it!

I love dark fare created for kids — not that you need to be a kid to enjoy this film. Kids need stories with fear and darkness in them, especially when the hero prevails. Reading scary stories and watching scary shows and movies can be like an inoculation for the greater fear of life. The world is dark and scary, and it’s far better to practice dealing with those themes in small doses, in a safe environment with clearly established frames for where the story begins and ends.

Stories can teach us to be brave, empathetic and compassionate, resilient, and hopeful. I want all kids to experience as much of that as possible.

Here’s Gaiman himself on writing Coraline:

“When I [started writing] ‘Coraline’, I thought, ‘I am going to make my villain as bad a villain as I can… and I’m not going to give Coraline magic powers, and I’m not going to make her some kind of special Chosen One, and she’s not going to be a secret princess or anything like that — she’s going to be a smart little girl who’s going to be scared and is going to keep doing the right thing anyway, and that’s what brave is. And she is going to triumph by being smarter and braver.’” (transcription credit)

Classic Neil. I love that guy.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Most definitely.

Where Can You Watch It? Netflix.


Movie Nineteen – Bedknobs and Broomsticks

“Treguna, Makoidees, Trecorum, Sadis Dee.”

When I was a little kid, around the age of ten or eleven, my brother and I did the same thing almost every weekend. When we arrived with our mom in Wallkill, after she would retreat to her room for the majority of the time until Monday, Matt and I would watch Newsies and Bedknobs and Broomsticks almost every Friday night. Over and over, weekend after weekend.

I didn’t think of it much at the time, it’s just what we did.

Looking back, I thought more about what was happening with all of these revisitations. I realized what I was doing was immersing myself in stories about orphans who find a place where they are wanted and celebrated. Both films are about lonely people who become part of a family that isn’t about blood, but belonging. It salving a wound that I couldn’t possibly understand fully at that point.

Watching it as an adult, Bedknobs and Broomsticks is silly, and at least one set piece too long. And still, I’m moved by what the movie meant to me as a child. That realization years later played no small part in the decision to make my entire master’s thesis about the power of fiction in our lives.

This film was a security blanket for me as a child, providing a familiarity and sense of home for two hours at a time.

Also, the scene where all the old armor and weapons fights off the Nazis was my favorite scene from all of collected cinema for a solid two or three years of my life. Remember when Nazi hatred was the least controversial stance possible?

Will I Ever Watch It Again? If I ever have kids, we’re watching this movie. Also, fuck Nazis.

Where Can You Watch It? No one has it streaming for free right now.


Movie Twenty – What We Do in the Shadows

“Wait, let’s kill them.”

Well let’s just see what other safety points they have… and then maybe we’ll kill them.”

I wrote about this one for last year’s fest, and it’s all still true. Here’s a slightly edited rehash:

“What We Do In the Shadows is hilarious, smart, clever, impressively filmed, and never overstretches its premise. That last bit is miraculous, given how quickly this could have either gotten old or gone overboard — especially with the mockumentary format.”

It’s tricky to make a sweet, silly, endearing comedy about the murderous undead, but Clement and Waititi nail it.

I can’t wait for Thor: Ragnarok, when the world at large will finally be aware of how amazing Taika Waititi is. His work is sharp and funny. He revels in the flaws and awkwardness of his characters, which is such a huge part of the joy I find in his movies.

I have a soft spot for stories about the search for belonging and identity, and no one does it better that him.

I am decidedly pro-Taika!

Will I Ever Watch It Again? At least once a year, ad infinitum. This is one of those few movies where when I see it available on a streaming service it takes a conscious choice not to just click on it and watch it again.

Where Can You Watch It? Amazon Prime, or come over to my place because I fucking love this movie.


Movie Twenty-One – The Babadook

“You can’t get rid of the Babadook.
I’ll wager with you
I’ll make you a bet.
The more you deny,
The stronger I get.
You start to change when I get in.
The Babadook growing right under your skin.”

File this one under perfectly executed, creepy ass horror films that make me cry.

This movie hits home for me in a way few films ever have. As I wrote for HMF15, “as someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, and severe insomnia, as well as being someone who grew up as a child with too many parallels to Samuel, this film was both difficult and therapeutic. The last time I felt this much deep internal connection between my own childhood and the thematic territory of a film was Where the Wild Things Are.”  

After a second viewing the film was just as powerful and moving for me. I was even more impressed this time around with Jennifer Kent’s writing and direction. She hit this way out of the park, Aaron Judge-style.

Gorgeous filmmaking, and I can’t wait for her next film, The Nightingale.

I’d love it if you read my thoughts on what The Babadook meant to me when I watched it the first time, HERE, just scroll past Frenzy. 

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Absolutely. It resonates inside my soul and I’d hate to stay away too long.

Where Can You Watch It? Netflix and Showtime.


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halloween movie fest 2017, movies eight through fourteen.

Let’s keep it rolling! Here are seven more movies:


Movie Eight – The Shining

“Wendy… darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in. I’m gonna bash them right the fuck in!”

This film is a masterpiece. A fucking masterpiece!!

Nicholson is at his most brilliant and insane. It’s probably weird to say a performance like this is a joy to watch, but it’s true — especially on repeat viewings. I smile and laugh almost continuously while watching him do his thing in this movie.

Even more, Kubrick is fucking killing every aspect of the filmmaking game here. This is next level shit. I feel like if I learned more about filmcraft, I’d be even more in awe of every frame of this film than I already am.

Where is The Shining even taking us? What do all the background images and spooky tangents mean? What is Kubrick trying to communicate? Damned if I know. But with this level of meticulous filmmaking, it’s so easy to get lost in the mystery over and over again. It gets better each time.

Bonus: one of the greatest outcomes of starting to do HMF all those years ago is that this year, Emily watched The Shining and loved it. So… yeah, my life is set.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Absolutely. What’s the over/under here? Ten more times? Fifteen? The smart money is on ‘over.’

Where Can You Watch It? No one has it streaming for free right now, but I own it, so come on over.


Movie Nine – Room 237

As mentioned above, The Shining is a pretty mysterious movie. Unlike most films, the mystery intensifies as you watch the film more closely and on repeat viewings. You notice more imagery, color choices, dialogue quirks, background props, etc., and the whole thing just keeps getting stranger and stranger. Like the Overlook Hotel, the film is one big impossible labyrinth, in which the dimensions and shapes don’t add up quite how they should.

Room 237 is a documentary featuring interviews with various devotees about their theories as to what the hell this movie is about. Mostly, their theories work to an extent, but become insane when taking to such an exacting degree.

It illustrates how immersive and mesmerizing this film is. The calculated brilliance of Kubrick’s filmmaking makes it easier to believe that each detail, no matter how small, means something in the larger whole. Details that would be accidents or errors in another film are more likely intentional in a Kubrick film, which intensifies the devotion from fans trying to find meaning and read themselves into the art they love, as we all do.

My favorite part: when an interviewee explained his creation of a print of the film that overlays the film playing forwards and backwards simultaneously. The clips they showed were amazing. I don’t see how Kubrick could have intentionally made the film work that perfectly, even he wasn’t that meticulous, but it was pretty eerie how some moments lined up. Someone please let me know if they hear of a screening of that print.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? No, but it was totally worth checking out.

Where Can You Watch It? Hulu


Movie Ten – The Void

“This isn’t the end.”

If The Thing, HP Lovecraft, and a book about dealing with death and loss had a horrible nightmare baby, it would look a lot like The Void. Obviously, this means the movie is super weird and dark as fuck.

The Void had its weaknesses, but overall I found it an engaging, solid, low-budget horror film. It leaned way into what it wanted to be, never pulling any punches, which really helped me root for this one to work.

Grounded performances contrasted with insane monsters and violence helped the interdimensional madness land.

The real star of the show was the practical effects. The reliance on CGI far exceeds what filmmakers can currently do with CGI — even in big budget films — and the result is a whole lot of films getting hamstrung by cheesy-ass effects. Filmmakers Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski leaned heavily into practical effects and gore, and the result is so much more immersive. 

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Probably not, but I’m glad I chose to include it.

Where Can You Watch It? Netflix


Movie Eleven – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

“I just can’t take no pleasure in killing. There’s just some things you gotta do. Don’t mean you have to like it.”

This movie spawned an entire sub-genre and inspired countless films and filmmakers afterward. It’s on 13 official lists on iCheckMovies, so the cultural influence is clear.

To be honest, this isn’t really my thing, but I’d gone too long without seeing a movie of such iconic status.

I don’t have much to say about this one.

Where Psycho took its inspiration from Ed Gein and dove way into the weird relationship with his mom, Texas Chainsaw Massacre went hard into the whole ‘grave robbing and making housewares and clothes out of people’ aspect of Gein’s story.

I was actually a little intimidated — which explains why I waited so long to see it — because I don’t enjoy watching torture scenes in any genre. When that’s the point of the whole movie, I was prepared to spend 83 very uncomfortable minutes. As it turns out, this film is so tame by today’s standards that I had built it up to be far more disturbing in my mind than it was ever going to be in reality. I actually found it less scary and more silly, at times even annoying.

At least now I can say I’ve seen it, and for a completionist movie nerd, that’s no small thing.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? No.

Where Can You Watch It? Amazon Prime.


Movie Twelve – Beetlejuice

“As soon as we get settled, we’ll build you a dark room in the basement, okay?” 
“My whole life is a dark room.” 

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

Hm. I thought maybe that would cause weirdo Michael Keaton to come help me write this entry.

Remember when Tim Burton was actually inventive and interesting? Or pre-Batman Michael Keaton? Or when Alec Baldwin was super skinny? Or when Geena Davis was rising to the peak of her fame? Ok, I was too young to be aware of Geena Davis as a rising star, but it’s all been recorded.

I think the biggest takeaway I got this time was that this was really a movie for teens — or at least that’s how it plays to me watching it now. Since it came out when I was six, I never really got that.

Anyway, remember the cartoon?! That was a thing that happened.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Maybe?

Where Can You Watch It? Nobody has it streaming for free right now.


Movie Thirteen – It

“Derry is not like any town I’ve been in before. They did a study once and, it turns out, people die or disappear at six times the national average. And that’s just grown ups. Kids are worse. Way, way worse.”

This one launched onto my radar because its huge critical success.

The tone and production are a little cheesy early on. Also, as opposed to The Void‘s practical effects, It features many scares that rely solely on CGI. For me, that drained the terror right out of any scene leaning heavily on less-than-stellar computer animation, which includes the opening murder. If you love obvious CGI in a scary scene, this movie will be your jam.

Negatives aside, It really is a solid film.

All the fear and foreboding that isn’t rooted in CGI was superb. The cast of kids were charming and their terrifying adventure worked perfectly at the heart of the story. I would assume King’s source material should get the bulk of the credit for how real and well-drawn the kids were. The nostalgia came from how close this felt to my own school-age summer vacations. Obviously, I mean that on a relational level, not as a claim that my friends and I fought a fear monster who likes to take the shape of a clown, because that’s all still classified by the government… er, I mean… because that never happened to me as a kid.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? I’ll definitely watch this again.

Where Can You Watch It? In theaters.


Movie Fourteen – Phantasm

“You play a good game, boy, but the game is finished. Now you die.”

This is one of those fan favorites that I just couldn’t get into. I think things would have been different if I’d seen it as a kid, because it really is an R rated kids movie about coping with death and loss. Since I didn’t see it when I was a kid, it’s just a big incoherent mess.

The story doesn’t make sense, the biggest moments in the movie make even less sense than the overall story, the things that work don’t happen enough, and I feel like Angus Scrimm’s Tall Man character was unintentionally hilarious instead of haunting — although, maybe that’s part of what people love about it, which would be far more understandable.

Some stuff I read after watching it defends the nonsensical story by saying it’s intentionally dreamlike, but to me that seems like more of a weak defense for a terrible story. In part, my enjoyment suffered from the comparison to House, which really was a nightmare logic, but took the absurdity to such extremes, which is why it works.

JJ Abrams can name and design Star Wars characters based the franchise all he wants, I’m still not going to understand what people love about this movie.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? I doubt it.

Where Can You Watch It? Shudder, otherwise no one else has it streaming for free right now.

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halloween movie fest 2017, movies one through seven.

Halloween Movie Fest is well underway, and it’s glorious.

After so many years, I’m to a point where I could make an entire month-long movie a day stretch using just films I discovered and fell in love with via HMF. Obviously, part of the joy of this annual exercise is to discover new (to me) films I might not otherwise watch, so I’ll probably never do that. Yet, while I’ll never go that far, this year I needed some familiarity in my life, so I brought back a large number of old favorites. In fact, for the first week of movies, there was only one film I hadn’t seen before (House). It was totally worth it. Upcoming weeks won’t have so many re-viewings.

Movie One – Housebound

“You cannot punch ectoplasm.”

A good horror-comedy is a thing of beauty, and Housebound belongs in the hall of fame. Add in What We Do in the Shadows and it’s clear that New Zealand really has their shit figured out in this regard.

For his debut film, writer/director Gerard Johnstone threw a mystery, a family-life comedy and a haunted house story into a blender and the resulting concoction is funny, quirky, charming and original. And as a bonus, it has one of the funniest and most unexpected death scenes I’ve ever seen — watching it for the first time with a small group of people was a genuine delight.

Sure, there are a few hiccups where the story stops making sense in order to keep things moving, but the movie is such a good time that it doesn’t really detract from the overall experience for me.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Indeed.

Where Can You Watch It? Netflix


Movies Two, Three and Four – The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness

“Hail to the king, baby.”

No one is really a stranger to these films, right? This is one of the most iconic horror franchises of all time, featuring perhaps the most iconic hero in the history of the genre.

Constantly referenced in other films, especially in the horror and horror-comedy genres, these movies are part of the DNA of everything that came after. What can I really say about these demented and beloved films? You might not love them, but you definitely love a movie that’s been influenced by them.

The first movie is certainly the most earnest of the three, although it is still insane. After that they just keep getting wackier as they go.

These are those rare movies where what works and what doesn’t work all somehow still add to the overall score. Insane, over-the-top dialogue and acting? 1,000 points! A near complete disregard for continuity between movies? 250 points! Silly, low-budget special effects? 3,000 points! A chainsaw hand? 1,000,000 points!

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Of course, preferably in large groups.

Where Can You Watch It? Evil Dead II is streaming on Shudder. Otherwise you need to pay to rent these.


Movie Five – It Follows

“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

Another previous favorite I revisited this year, this one holds up really well on second viewing. I can’t say much in case you haven’t seen it. It Follows is better if you know very little about it when you watch it, which you should absolutely do!

As I said the first time, during HMF15: “David Robert Mitchell has created a film that is moody, atmospheric, and wonderfully creepy. Also, Maika Monroe is fantastic as Jay, the terrorized lead. This is a film that will be a genre classic, and I expect to see this referenced, honored, parodied, and copied in coming years.”

Watching it for the second time — as in, without being on edge and creeped out the whole time — it was even more evident how great the filmmaking is. I really love the camera choices Mitchell made. Without going into plot details, I’ll say it would have been easy in a movie like this to use that lazy trope where filmmakers cheat to get jump scares by utilizing the limited frame of the camera lens. Just because something just jumped into frame doesn’t mean the characters wouldn’t have seen it well before the reveal. This officially renders that particular jump scare fake news. It’s everywhere in horror movies — and movies in general — these days. Mitchell doesn’t do this. He uses long takes and camera movement to create a full sense of the space of the scene, immersing the viewer more legitimately in the terror of being followed by a mysterious entity. He creates scares via skillful filmmaking, not cheap tricks.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Definitely. Viewing two confirmed my theory that this is immensely rewatchable.

Where Can You Watch It? Netflix.


Movie Six – 28 Days Later

“Look, if someone gets infected, you’ve got between ten and twenty seconds to kill them. It might be your brother, or your sister, or your oldest friend — it makes no difference. And just so you know where you stand, if it happens to you, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”

One of the primary themes at work in most zombie fare is humanity consuming itself. In Romero’s genre-spawning Living Dead films, the reanimated dead are pure mindless hunger. When left to their own devices after the collapse of civilization, those still living are even worse. The monsters are us. Romero started it all by making small stories in the midst of the end of the world, where our prejudice, paranoia, consumption, and militarism are our downfall.

In 28 Days Later, Boyle follows the template, albeit with the living dead replaced by living people infected with pure rage. Boyle dives even harder into the idea that our civilization is a thin veneer. Maybe the world isn’t actually ending, but people still use any excuse to become monsters.

The basic takeaway from most zombie movies is that individuals might be cool, but people on a large scale are the worst, whether they’re alive or undead.

Quibble all you want about whether or not it’s fare to call this a zombie film — which is stupid, because Romero himself wasn’t the one who started calling his living dead monsters ‘zombies,’ plus the word zombie comes from a totally different thing — but thematically this is a by-the-numbers zombie story exploring the worst parts of humanity.

Will I Ever Watch It Again? I own it, so chances are good, even though for some reason I liked it less this time around.  

Where Can You Watch It? You can stream it on Cinemax right now if you have a password. If you need to borrow one, mine is jkyoucanthavemypassword.


Movie Seven – House

“She eats unmarried young girls. It is the only time she can wear her wedding gown.”

Ho. Ly. Shit. This movie is, to borrow a phrase from Pierce Hawthorne, crazytown bananapants. 100% bonkers.

Killer pianos, decapitated heads biting butts, magical murder cats, people being transformed into piles of bananas, and a surprising amount of kung fu are just a few examples of what this film has to offer. It’s surreal and dreamlike. It’s a horror film by way of a child’s nightmare — although with more boobs, because the 70s.

And you know what? It somehow completely worked for me. Obayashi got all the ideas from conversations with his young daughter about what she thought was frightening, and then told the screenwriter what he wanted based on that. The special effects were often designed to look silly, like a child created them, but that was spliced in with inventive filmmaking techniques that showed Obayashi was actually a gifted filmmaker and all the craziness was intentional.

If I’m being honest, there were times watching the movie where I didn’t even know why I was captivated by it, but I absolutely was. After finishing it I immediately jumped into some bonus feature interviews with the director to keep the experience from ending. Always a good sign.

Bonus: here’s an interesting video essay I found after I watched it:

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halloween movie fest 2017 is here (and not a moment too soon)!

You wouldn’t know it from the weather in Brooklyn, but the time has come for another Halloween Movie Fest. Or, as my great-great-grandather always used to say, “Thank God, it’s Halloween Movie Fest!” Or, TGIHMF. (How would I trademark that? I feel like it’s definitely going to catch on with a wider public.)

HMF is my favorite annual glorious waste of my own time. I really need it this year, because the world is falling apart and depression is a fucking asshole.

I am so ready for this excursion into the familiar world of Halloween and its related cinema, a tradition that began for me in 2009.

I love Halloween, with its deep reliance on story and myth. For me, it’s like an entire holiday dedicated to telling ghost stories around a fire on a chilly autumn evening. HMF has come to be a means of extending that feeling throughout more of the month.

For previous fests, I would select a specific number of films and watch a movie a day. [That’s always the format for Another Day, Another Movie]. However, this year I’ve chosen 31 films, one for every day of the month, and I’ll get through as many as I can. I hereby promise all four people who read this blog that I will watch no fewer than 21 films. However, I doubt my schedule will allow me to watch a movie a day for the entire month of October. I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try, but odds aren’t great.

The 2017 list includes some straight scary fare, a few horror comedies (because obviously), some lighter Halloween-friendly films, and Room 237, a documentary about interpretations of The Shining and the intense devotion to the film’s many mysteries (I might be stretching my own premise a bit with that last one).

19 of the 31 are films I’ve seen before, so obviously I’m leaning into some favorites I’m in the mood to rewatch. Many are films I loved after seeing them for the first time during previous Halloween Movie Fests.

Here are the films, in no particular order:

  1. Shaun of the Dead
  2. A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
  3. The Shining
  4. Room 237
  5. Under the Shadow
  6. Don’t Breathe
  7. The Void
  8. XX
  9. 28 Days Later
  10. What We Do in the Shadows
  11. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
  12. Tetsuo: The Iron Man
  13. It (2017)
  14. The Haunting
  15. House
  16. Phantasm
  17. Beetlejuice
  18. Dead of Night
  19. Pet Sematary
  20. Housebound
  21. Pontypool
  22. Cabin in the Woods
  23. The Babadook
  24. Let the Right One In
  25. It Follows
  26. The Evil Dead
  27. Evil Dead II
  28. Army of Darkness
  29. Coraline
  30. The Devil’s Backbone
  31. Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some movies to watch.

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night twenty: the witch. [halloween movie fest, 2016.]

“We will conquer this wilderness. It will not consume us.”

Another year of Halloween Movie Fest in the books.

The Witch was a great way to finish things off.

So different and unexpected, The Witch is eerie, dark, and saturated with bleakness and doom. It’s amazing how perfectly rendered it is. Quietly immersive, there are no big, over-broad strokes to show us the mythos and feeling of this time period, but every detail adds up to a sum greater than the parts. This is worldbuilding, but not in the sense than that word is often used.

This movie certainly isn’t for everyone, maybe it’s not even for most, but it is so singular and sharp. Robert Eggers seemed to know exactly what he wanted to do, and then executed that to perfection. This is a home run.

thewitch2

Will I Ever Watch It Again? I’ll definitely revisit this one. I feel like it can teach me a lot about how to create a story with a distinct vision, mood, and feeling.

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night nineteen: the hallow. [halloween movie fest, 2016.]

“You should never have come here.”

The Hallow is a really fun dark faerie story. It feels a bit like what would’ve happened if Guillermo del Toro had been born in Ireland instead of Mexico.

It’s not huge on story or character, but it’s so beautiful and dark and creepily atmospheric that it works really well anyway.

This is one of those entries that is solid and interesting, even though it won’t ever be one I get crazy excited about and watch year in and year out.

the_hallow_still

Will I Ever Watch It Again? Maybe?

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