geek

In the lightning fast world of video games, this one is old (2008), but it was new to me.

I’ve never really played games from the horror genre, but if Dead Space is any indication, I’ll be adding more to my Gamefly queue post-haste. The game was full of tense, creepy fun.

The game’s story isn’t anything groundbreaking. You are Isaac Clarke, your wife Nicole is on a space station which seems to be having communication difficulties, as it’s been radio silent for some time. You arrive at the space station, which is running a mining expedition on the planet below, as part of a team that has been sent in to fix whatever is wrong. You crash land on your way in, rendering you unable to leave, and obviously, you arrive to discover that everything has gone to shit. Soon you are being attacked by dead humans who have been converted into horrible monsters by some alien life-form. You need to survive, find Nicole, and discover a way to get off the ship. Pretty straightforward sci-fi horror.

The gameplay itself is a dark, gruesome, atmospheric romp through the limbs of disfigured, reanimated corpses. Like most horror video games, you are constantly running low on ammo, and asshole bad guys are constantly jumping out of the vents they travel through (as a lovely homage to the Alien franchise). Thus, your poor Isaac is constantly on edge, desperately trying to make it to the next waypoint before running out of ammo and health and find yourself completely screwed. Talk about PTSD.

Along the way, you get kinesis and stasis (the ability to slow enemies down temporarily) powers. At times, using kinesis to send a well aimed gas tank at an enemy is the only way to survive when your ammo runs out.

Again, none of these features is anything new. Yet, there is something to be said for taking pre-existing parts and putting them together in an enjoyable way. I know I was probably one of the last gamers in the world to play this one, but if you haven’t tried it out yet, you definitely should.

I can’t wait for the sequel in January!

If you know me at all, you are probably aware that I love the English language enough that I never, ever use instant message speak. No ‘ty,’ ‘rotf,’ or ‘ttyl.’ You’ll never get even the occasional ‘lol’ or ‘brb.’ That is why what is about to happen is a big deal. And it is all because of Scott Pilgrim.

The in-game nerdspeak, the ‘pwned’ sort, just comes bubbling up at the sheer awesomeness Bryan Lee O’Malley has unleashed on the world.

Let’s pretend you can ask me what I’ve thought of the Scott Pilgrim series so far.

“Hey, Scott. How’s Scott Pilgrim so far?”

[*Head glowing from awesomeness*] OMGWTFBBQLASERS!!!

Scott Pilgrim is amazing! No, seriously. Listen. Well, read. IT. IS. AMAZING.

Epic!

The word ‘original’ has been around for a long time. As have the words ‘awesome, ‘hilarious,’ and ‘magicawonderfulnerdtastic.’ Okay, so I made the last word up, but if it was a word, it would apply to what I am saying. We have been using those words all this time without realizing that they were invented just so that someday there would be the proper adjectives to describe the Scott Pilgrim books.

They are so fucking good. My whole life has simply been biding time, waiting until the day when I finally read about the adventures of Mr. Pilgrim.

I know what you are thinking. “Hey Scott, c’mon. You use hyperbole all the time. They can’t really be that good.”

To that I can only respond with: Shut the hell up, dude. If you ever open your stupid, blasphemous face and talk about Scott Pilgrim that way again, I will come to your house and crack an egg of knowledge all over you.

Seriously. It’s like O’Malley took all the awesome, lame, wonderful parts of the average nerd’s brain, influenced by the fact that we are the first generation to grow up completely immersed in video games, and he created a world out of it. A world where things actually happen the way I pretend they happen in my mind.

If you ever wanted to Level Up for doing the right thing, or have a weapon that offers +2 against Vegans, or get EXP points for going to work, then this is the series of indie comics for you.

These books are absurd in the best way possible, surreal and delightful. There isn’t really a way to describe how different they are from any other graphic novel or comic book I’ve ever read. Sooo good.

I already couldn’t wait for the movie to come out this August. Now I think I might have to get a doctor to place me in a controlled coma to get me from now to Inception, and then from that until Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

I’m already mentally preparing for a trip to Toronto to make a (please forgive the pun) pilgrimage.

That glowing review, and so far I’ve only even read Vol. 1-4. I had no freaking idea that Volume 6: Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour wasn’t out as a graphic novel yet. It doesn’t come out until JULY?!?!?!?!? Terrible. My heart aches for it. What was that I was saying about a coma? I need to check with my local hospital about that.

dead space.

scott pilgrim. [graphic content.]